the "climb mountains not so the world can see you, but so you can see the world" blog. day NINE!

For the past few days, I have been struggling. I struggle with my photo concepts and having faith in myself even when I get the assurance from people around me. I am struggling to have a positive outlook for my own passions, even though I manage to be positive for others in my life. I struggled to find the words to blog yesterday and the day before. But most of all, I think I am struggling because I am scared to continue to put myself out there. I'm learning from this experience, because I am allowing myself to be vulnerable. I am allowing myself to tell the world exactly how I am feeling every single day of my life, and I am putting on display for anyone who wants to look my ideas of beautiful through this picture project.
But you know what? I also think I am struggling with being selective about which images I want to take because I have so many in my head, I can't commit to one. I want to do all of the photo concepts at once, which is not what the purpose of this project is. Coincidentally, this is a great metaphor for my life, because I have always been worried about making the wrong choice at the wrong time in the wrong place with the wrong people.  I spend my life wondering, "What if?" I have been looking for a graduate program for the last two years and I can't seem to find one that I want to commit to, because I want to study so many things, and I want to move to so many different places and meet so many different people, that how can I just pick one? Or worse, what if I pick the wrong one? What if I say the wrong thing? What if I make the wrong move? Or, simply, what if I drive the wrong way to work and I'm late? To be honest, I'm sick of wondering what if. I'm sick of over-analyzing every little thing. I'm sick of doing exactly what I'm supposed to do, because I have done that my whole life. I've been conforming to norms and expectations that I project on myself. I have always believed there is no universal "normal," so why do I try to be normal ALL. THE. TIME.? I'm not normal. Anyone who knows me knows that I go to bed whenever I feel like (usually by 9 p.m.) and I cancel plans a couple of hours before they are supposed to happen because I "just don't feel like going out" and that I couldn't wait to be an adult and now that I am, I just want to be young and have no responsibility.
So, tonight, I am declaring to the wonderful world wide web that this blog is solely for my own growth. The blog serves as a medium for me to express myself, and if you want to walk with me on this journey, I love company!

On that note, today's concept was sunshine! So, I took a little drive around dusk and captured these two lovely photographs. I'm a huge fan of the tree silhouette one, but my brother promises that the sunset one is "sick," so here they are. Thanks for reading!